Depression takes over, my mind is free

Sitting cross legged in her comfortable attire, she waits until nightfall.
Shattered glass and pounding footsteps.
My story begins.

They come upstairs looking in all places I may be hiding.
I know I should feel scared, threatened, helpless;
But the tears rolling down my cheeks are of relief.

Anything could be better than the way I feel, the life I'm living.
Not even an ounce of restraint as they lock me away.
A day, a week, a month, away from this hell I call home, my deepest desire fulfilled.

Not a drop of remorse as they skin my innocence away from my body,
Not a tear of sadness as the girl I once knew disappeared
No emotion at all, my body is gone in the wind with my soul and burdens

A clean slate, no scratches, nothing in existence
A blank mind,
A forbidden hope to be free, if only for a moments rest.

A breath for a moments pass

For it is at night that the monster in me is released,
all control in my body vanished.
Nobody can save me from the hole I keep digging.
Just keep digging,
make me larger while I wither away into a person I have yet to meet.
Ticking clocks ding fast, the air will not pass.
Sleep tight young one for tomorrow shall not come.
So long,
So Far,
Good night.





And that my friend is called BSing a quote for a Macbeth paper. :)

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,0. Then what?

Bouncing up and down,
This is where we belong.
Pure Innocence Laughter

10 little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
Momma came in and the doctor said,
No more little monkeys jumping on the bed.

We all know that this doesn't happen.
Soon their are 8 little monkeys,
Then seven.

The clouds surrounding turn hard,
The white purity turns murderouse and red.
Young turns to old,
Smiles to tears.

And then there was one monkey jumping on the bed,
watching his friends bleeding and dying on the floor surrounding him,
turning his white clouds red.

Why did this happen?
Why didn't I listen?
Why do I deserve this treatment?

And then there were no little monkeys jumping on the bed.

BFHD. Suck it.

My mental health is more important than a grade.
My sanity is my prioriy.
I can only focas on them for so long,
I need to focas on me sometimes.
For those who don't accept my decision
can suck my big fat hairy dick.
Yes, I'm referring to you,
Suck it.

-end rant-

The heart whispers "Why not"

The lights are on me,
The walls hide my tearing eyes.
Carefull not to make a sound of weakness,
The internal conflict starts.

Why did he break my heart?
Maybe if I was skinnier,
Why can't I get a chance?
Am I really that unlovable,
untouchable, unthinkable?

Why am I still talking to you?
Why are my parents still fighting?
Why can't I meet my freedom?
Where is the light in this tunnel?

Questions and stories flood my mind,
Memories that left me scared and unkind.
Where is the justice to this madness?
Since when was this sadness?

My phone rings, a text from him.
But what is next to my phone?
I white little cap on top of a razor.
A little white cap on the eversharp blades.

I wonder what it would feel like,
That little white cap.
What it would be like,
to make my blood turn red.

It has to help the broken heart somehow,
Why else would they do it.
It has to make the fighting stop,
Have you seen thier scars?

Time goes by.
First in seconds,
Minutes,
Hours.

He says good night.
I say good morning.
And with a new life in mind,
I pick up the little white cap.

Holding it in between my warm fingers,
I place it against my left index.
I make a small line that soon faded.

No! I say out loud,
The whole world can see.
I turn up the tv,
I put down the razor.
I can say I have.

30 minutes go by,
I still am wondering why?
So many questions fill my brain,
viciouse venom in my veins,
The monster is released.

White cap in hand,
Oh that white cap.
Ever so sharp turning dull,
Never deep dispite my effort,
Forever there, my deepest comfort.