another wish, another mistake

I slowly lift this life,
in which I try to leave.
I throw it down,
and feel the pain and misery.

I'm trying to get over the fact,
that you don't know me.
It seems like you should though
but I won't let you

I know I mean nothing to you,
but it doesn't help the pain.
You wonder why I don't speak a word,
in fear of you seeing the scars.

I'm done with hiding,
I'm tired of tears,
I'm sick of waisting my life away,
Wishing you were here.

I'm tired of making plans
to have them thrown away.
I know my tears make you happy,
you don't see what they do to me

So once more,
and it won't be the last.
I'll pick up this old life of mine,
and mabey this time you'll see my scars