Intenchions gone wrong

~This one actually is about you~

What was running through my mind?
Was anything at all?
Why did I put up as long as I did?
I'm begining to remember why.

I think it's because I thought I could help.
That I could some how help your tears,
That I had this false hope,
that one day you would be healthy.

Your smile is so rare,
But when it was true,
It shined with the moon.
Why did I put up as long as I did?

Mabey it was because I longed to see your smile?
Mabey because I wanted to be apart of your world.
Mabey because I wanted in on the jokes, and fun

I'm thinking back,
to the first time at your new house.
(note how I say house, not home)
We met in Nelson Ridge.
We hugged, and then swung,
went on the bridge,
everything was nice.
We went in, and before I new it,
you screamed Fuck and Sex on the top of your lungs.
You explained teen sanctuary to me.
You don't know how good that sounded.

We went on your trampoline.
I didn't know how to get on.
Do you remember that?
Before Penelopy?
I would take 15 minutes to get on.
and then didn't know how to jump.
Then we felt so free.
At leaste I did.
I think you did too.
We couldnt wait to get into your pool.
And then the sun set,
and my brothers car pulled up.
Getting off the trampoline.
Do you remember that?
I got shocked so bad.
Remember my hair?
Bright Red and curly,
My face covered in acne?
I really did change.

Back then was great.

Or the day you got Lolly.
Or my first time playing guitar hero with you and Andi.
Or how about my first kiss,
Oh god Eric!!!

We had a lot of good memories.
I know we can't go back.
But that doesn't mean we have to be this distant.

I originally was going to write this to be bitchy.
But I don't think I will.

I've used up all my chances,
I know.
And I know I should just let go.
I've tried.
Beleive me.
But I can't.
I know I can't speak for you,
but thinking back,
just reminded me of what our friendship is/was built on.
Trust? Fun? Having a good time?
I dunno.

But I'm out of chances.
But would do anything just to have one.
One chance.
TO be stupid and fun.
To be crazy
To stay up all night talking.
To have fun.
To go to CVS in capes.
To oogle over the hott guy down your streete.
To help you,
To get helped.

Do you want this to end?
Most likely.
Your sick of me.
At leaste I think.

But like I said,
I'm out of chances.
But let me just say,
that I am truely sorry.
I should have called more.
But it's to late now.
I should have been more supportive,
But I can't go back now.
I am truely sorry for changing the way I did.
and let me say,
Your house is still the funnest.

I'm sorry.
I truely am.
And now I will call you,
and hope that you listen to me,
as I say how sorry I really am.